OK, so, following up on my “Would I? Would I?” post, here’s an example:

A man has this problem where people always mistake him for a bartender. He doesn’t have any problem with bartenders, but he’s worked very hard to get where he is as a prosecutor and feels a little disrespected when people always think he’s a Doctor of Mixology instead of a Juris Doctor. It makes his job difficult when judge and jury interrupt him with their drink orders, and all the women who’ve been really interested in him have turned out to be alcoholics.

One day he’s getting ready for a trial to begin and he notices a waitress at the other table. I knew the county was strapped for cash, he thinks, but I can’t believe they’ve started allowing a diner to operate inside a courtroom. This is only going to make my problem worse.

Then he looks closer and realizes: the woman at the other table is not actually a waitress, she’s just one of those women who looks like she’s a waitress. In fact, she’s the opposing attorney on the case.

Finally! Someone who will understand my pain! Breathlessly, he rushes over to her. “Margie,” he asks, reading her name tag. “When this trial is over, might you want to join me for a cup of coffee?”

The woman is so excited she almost slips and falls on her roller skates. “Might I?” replies. “Might I???”

“Forget it,” says the man, suddenly sulky. “And bring me an order of fries.”